AN OPEN LETTER TO THE GOVERNMENT OF ANTIGUA & BARBUDA: MEN DESERVE FAIRNESS TOO

Dear Editor,

I am writing anonymously because this is an issue that many

men

experience but are afraid to speak about publicly.

I want to ask a difficult question:

Why does a man sometimes walk away from a marriage with the responsibility of rebuilding his entire life, while the woman remains in the family home and continues living in the life they built together?

And what makes this even more painful is when the marriage ended because of the woman’s infidelity.

A man can work, sacrifice, contribute toward the mortgage, build a home, furnish it, maintain it and invest years of his life into creating stability for his family. Then the marriage breaks down. He is forced to find somewhere else to live, sometimes paying rent, while still carrying financial obligations connected to the home he is no longer allowed to occupy.

Meanwhile, his former wife remains in that home.

He is still expected to support his child. He still has his own living expenses. He may be paying rent for somewhere to live while continuing to contribute toward a mortgage on a house that he cannot live in or enjoy.

How is one person supposed to survive under those circumstances?

And if that man is still waiting for property division to be completed, he can spend months or even years in financial limbo. He cannot properly move forward because his assets are tied up. He cannot fully rebuild because he is still carrying obligations from a life that, legally and practically, he has already been separated from.

That is not simply a financial issue.

It affects a person’s ability to start over, rebuild and live again.

I am not suggesting that women should lose protections. Women deserve protection. Children deserve protection. But

men deserve protection and fairness too.

If a woman cheats and the marriage breaks down as a result, should the circumstances surrounding that breakdown have no relevance whatsoever when the financial consequences of the divorce are being considered?

Should a man who did not cause the breakdown of the marriage be left carrying the same burdens while the spouse who remains in the home continues with her life?

And I want to be clear: this is not about punishing women for being women. It is about asking whether our laws and our system provide

true fairness regardless of gender.

Prime Minister Gaston Browne, members of Parliament, lawmakers and those responsible for our justice system, I am asking you to look seriously at Antigua and Barbuda’s divorce and property-division laws.

Property division should not take years while people’s lives remain on hold.

There should be mechanisms that allow property matters to be dealt with promptly and fairly, particularly where one spouse remains in the home while the other is excluded from it but continues carrying financial obligations.

There should also be greater consideration of the financial reality facing the spouse who has been displaced from the marital home.

A man should not have to pay a mortgage on a home he cannot occupy, pay rent for another place to live, support his child, pay his everyday expenses and somehow be expected to rebuild his life at the same time.

How is he supposed to do that?

At what point does the system recognize that he is struggling too?

We talk about equality. We talk about fairness. We talk about protecting families. But fairness must apply to

both sides

.

A divorced man should not automatically be viewed as the person who should simply “start over” while his former wife retains the home and the stability that they built together.

And a man should not be made to feel that speaking about these issues makes him bitter, angry or anti-woman.

Sometimes he is simply

hurt, financially exhausted and trying to figure out how he is going to survive.

He may have lost his marriage, his home, his sense of stability and years of his life and yet he is still expected to keep going as though nothing happened.

There are fathers in Antigua and Barbuda quietly living this reality right now.

They are working. They are paying child support. They are paying mortgages. They are paying rent. They are paying legal fees. They are supporting their children. And they are trying to rebuild their lives while their property remains tied up in a divorce that seems to have no end.

These

men

deserve to be heard.

Prime Minister Browne, I am asking for a serious review of the laws and procedures surrounding divorce and property division.

Make the process faster.

Make it fairer.

Protect both spouses.

Consider the financial burden placed on the person who is excluded from the marital home.

And ensure that no man or woman is left financially trapped for years simply because a marriage has ended.

Divorce should mean the end of a marriage.

It should not mean the beginning of years of financial punishment and uncertainty for one person while the other gets to move forward.

We cannot call a system fair if one person is rebuilding their life from scratch while simultaneously financing the life they are no longer permitted to live.

Men deserve fairness too.

An Anonymous Concerned Citizen

This article was originally published by Antigua News Room. Read the original article here: LETTER: Men Deserve Fairness Too.